Slowly Losing My Mind

Another sleepless night, only this night I decided to listen to the entirety of Nine Inch Nail’s “Year Zero”  in between the 5:00 AM and 6:00 AM Hour, which does not bode well for one’s psyche I think. The glitchy atmospheric end-times album paired with rising sun made me feel slowly more and more detached from everything around me. I learned what time the street lamps are turned off, how the sidewalks stay so clean (a dude hoses them down sometimes, apparently!) and was thoroughly impressed by a Waste Management Driver’s ability to parallel park what is essentially a dump truck. 

The worst thing about staying up without getting any sleep is just trying to figure things out like “When will I shower?” Because you know that you’re just going to pass out and sleep sometime in the afternoon, so you might as well shower after that – so you can get your hair back in order and wash away the sleep funk. “When will I eat?” actually becomes an easy question, as suddenly you’re awake at an appropriate breakfast hour, and you have time for all three meals. And my least favorite question “When did I do that?” Without sleep to separate the days, it suddenly becomes very hard to remember what day it is, when you bought that, when you drank that, when you watched that video. 

I shouldn’t listen to Nine Inch Nails so early in the morning, fills my head with strange thoughts, too deep for…. 9AM. Daft Punk though, I’m listening to “Random Access Memories” right now and that’s helping to brighten up the morning. The sky is an off-white color right now, but with the arpeggios of “Giorgio by Moroder” it’s hard not to exaggerate the blues and pinks. 

I’m resolved to go to the bagel shop on Forbes and order two bagels. A Pumpernickle with butter, and a Cinnamon Raisin with cream cheese. Not because I need two bagels, or even because I want to bagels – but because I’m too fickle to chose just one. 

And it would be really nice to fall asleep again sometime.

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