The only way to make a randomized Nuzlocke crazier? What’s crazier than randomizing the starter Pokemon and the Pokemon I encounter along the way in the wild? This time every single Pokemon in the game has a randomized type, move set, stats, and color palate. That’s right. Nuzlocke 2 is downright stupid. It might not even be playable. With that being said, let’s start.
- This randomized copy of Pokemon Emerald doesn’t mess around. Instead of whatever common Pokemon that Professor Birch usually shows off at the beginning of the game, he’s got a pink and purple Registeel with him. The game hasn’t even quite begun and it’s already bizarre. Last time around I played as a girl named Coco, this time I’ll play as a young lad named Neko. When you play as a boy I think you start off in a different house than you do if you choose to play as a girl, that’s a cool touch; regardless of who you choose those characters start off in the same house.
- I set the timer on my clock to 10:52 PM which is the in-real-life time right now, not that it matters. Neko and the girl next door, May, introduce themselves to each other, exchange pleasantries. Neko notices a Nickleback poster in May’s room and figures he’ll sit this one out.
- Professor Birch; who only moments ago wielded the power of a Registeel, is now being hounded by a Kingler. I can choose one of these three Pokemon to save the day… a purple and green Doduo, a Bulbasaur that looks like it’s colored by a three year old, and what looks like a shiny Aerodactyl. Now remember… just because I pick say… Bulbasaur doesn’t mean I’m going to get a Grass/Poison type Pokemon; he might be a Fire/Flying or whatever else you could imagine. That being said, I’m going to pick Aerodactyl. My Aerodactly is a Grass-Type Pokemon, with the Inner Focus ability which prevents flinching, a lonely nature, and whose only attack is Metronome. Aerodactyl’s Metronome produced Sacred Fire and killed that Kingler dead.
- Tyrus the Aerodactly joins Neko’s squad. The Professor asks us to go meet up with May up the road. Neko runs into an albino Flygon. Tyrus’ Metronome deals death eventually, but not before the Flygon can deal enough damage and inflict poison on Tyrus. Tyrus the Aerodactly, dies.
- We start over. Professor Birch is being held hostage by an angry Absol. Neko has to choose between a yellow Dratini, a green Meowth, and a green Roselia. Neko, remembering his own namesake, chooses the green Meowth. This green Meowth is a grass type, with the Hustle ability which exchanges accuracy for attack power, with an Impish nature. He knows the moves Clamp and Dream Eater. Meowth clamps onto the icy blue Absol, who, unfortunately, has a poison-on-contact ability. Absol dies at the hands of Meowth, but not before Meowth is brought to near-death, clinging onto a measly 4 health points. Good enough. Bake the Meowth joins the team! Bake was holding onto TM42: Heal Bell. I taught him the move, not really caring about what the consequences would be. I don’t like Bake’s chances of survival.
- Neko’s Meowth gets into a fight with a wild Skitty, and he starts to wonder if this is too much cat for his own good. The Skitty’s fur is a bright red color, with a pink chest. She must have been a fire type, as Bake’s clamp deals a one-hit KO. Their second encounter is with a bright green Elekid, which Bake also deals a one-kit KO to. Color hasn’t much to do with type I guess, as I don’t know what could be bright green and week to a Water-type attack.
- Out of Route 101, into Oldale Town, and onto Route 103 after a quick Pokemon Center trip. Neko is a man on a mission. A pink and purple Wingull stops the speeding train that is the Neko-Bake duo, bringing Bake closer to the brink of death than he’s previously experienced – forcing him to use Struggle after exhausting all other options, with only 2 health points and a bad burn. If whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, then Bake’s on the fast track to being a freaking brick of a warrior.
- Neko finally catches up with May, a mission that caused him to lose his first Pokemon and nearly lose his second on two occasions. May and Neko decide to duel, her Medicham (which is an icy shade of blue with maroon highlights) against Neko’s Meowth… and wouldn’t you know it? Neko’s second Pokemon, Bake, dies.
- We start over. The Professor is being mugged by a gang of Exeggcute. Neko and his Ground-Type Hoothoot are here to save the day. Hoothoot has Guts (an ability which ups her attack if she’s suffering) and is Relaxed, she’s here to do some damage. She knows Blaze Kick, and Dig. Neko needs her to do well in this fight… third time’s the charm. The green gang of eggs falls victim to the fiery talons of Hoothoot. Nikita the Hoothoot joins Neko’s squad. During a training montage Nikita beats up a bunch of wild Onixes (which are light blue in color and impervious to Ground-type attacks). Nikita reaches Level 6 and learns Jump Kick. The mental image of a jump-kicking Hoothoot is too amazing for words. Neko loves Nikita. Neko and Nikita train until she has reached Level 9, and then they challenge May to a fight.
- May brings a Level 5 Mantine to a Level 9 Hoothoot Fight. Nikita uses Dig and kills Mantine in two turns; it wasn’t super effective, and I have no idea what type Mantine is. May and Neko call it a day and return to the Professor to get Pokedexes and Pokeballs; you know, standard stuff. With two losses already, things are looking tough for Neko, and Nuzlocke Challenge 2: Electrode Boogaloo isn’t screwing around.