There’s an important source of guidance in my life who suggested meditation; which is something I have tried on my own a few times before, but considering that we’re in the swing of the year for resolutions and reinventions, I decided to try meditation by-the-book this time. I tried to eliminate distractions, I lit a candle in my room to look at, and I focused on my breathing. I didn’t get quite there yet, but it felt good, I didn’t regret the time spent, and I didn’t feel frustrated. The source I got these tips from suggested meditating in the morning, which I’ll try to do in the future, and committing to a meditation schedule, which I’ll have to figure out over the course of this semester.
I came up with a few other resolution-ish ideas today, though I get nervous at the thought of calling them resolutions. I feel like resolutions don’t work. They’re non-committal things you only do because it’s January. I need to do things for myself, make changes, and if they happen to occur during January, then so be it.
I’m going to start looking for ways to better express my character through clothing. That may seem like a shallow thing to start with, but hear me out. There was a floral woman’s cardigan on Threadless that I really liked. I’ve never worn a cardigan before, so I was a little apprehensive, but what really killed it for me was that none of the woman’s sizes would fit me. Now, I love the t-shirts I have, don’t get me wrong, but I think in a way I might have been tricking myself into thinking that they were expressing my character. They’re unique sure, some of them odd, some of them not very masculine – but they’re still all just t-shirts. I want something more dainty, floral-print shirts or dress-shirts, infinity scarves; something that says something different than “this guy has an interesting choice in t-shirts.”
The other change I’m trying out today, besides meditation, is salad. Not dieting. Salad. It will be a cold day in hell when the month comes that I don’t eat pizza, or any number of unhealthy but delicious foods. That being said, I’m hoping that I find the delicious side of salads; which I’ve always found boring. It’s 10PM right now, and I first ate, and last ate, at 2PM. I’m freaking starving, and a bag of Dole Spring Salad, a Granny Smith Apple, and a Sunkist Orange are going to have to settle for dinner. I’m hoping that this turns out to be a tasty, and filling combination of fruits and veggies.
And if all of these fail, I can go back to being content with the way I’ve been living life for the last two decades.