Today was weird. I liked it; it was a good day, I just felt weird.
My long-lost USPS packages arrived; which should have made me feel happy, but I still felt angry about the poor customer service I hadn’t received from them over the last few weeks. I finally got the scarves I wanted, and my Blockbuster T-shirt, but I’d gone through so much anger, hate, stress, and sadness on the way to getting these things. I hated ordinary postal people for no good reason other than it took nearly a month for my things to arrive in the mail… Okay, maybe I had some solid reasons to hate the USPS.
I’d realized that the physical separation that occurred last Saturday was the right decision. It’s what I wanted, but it’s hard to be sure of your decisions when the consequences of those decisions lead to a lack of physical affection. I realized though, that there were a handful of stronger emotional connections out there that I’d rather pursue than an overall weaker situation. I care about this person a lot, and I miss them, but I can’t force myself to change how I feel about certain people – and I know amazing people. It maybe doesn’t make sense, and it’s part of why the day feels weird: but I felt really good about realizing how important the emotional/mental side of a relationship is to me. There are people I long for in New York so strongly that I’d almost rather just wait, but I’m looking, Pittsburgh, I am!
Finally in today’s weird things: Professors. They’re weird, I need to talk about them in full later – when it’s not 3AM on 9/11 – but in a short sweet sentence… There’s a certain way that I expect to be treated by a Professor, and anything but that drives me crazy and makes me root against them.