So, I should be working. I have essays to write, books to read, and I’ve wasted some time today and I don’t know why. I know how miserable I get when I have to cram work into Sunday, so, why do I slack off on Saturday? I guess things didn’t start off amazing: I was insanely stuffed up this morning as I was trying to go to bed -and when my alarm went off at 7AM I had only gotten two hours of sleep- so I went right back to bed. This means that I missed a volunteering opportunity with the Secular Alliance which makes me feel bad, since I’m the acting secretary, but I don’t know if going downtown to pick up trash was going to be a smart decision if I were sick with two hours of sleep. But am I making excuses? I wish I knew. When I get things done, I do them well, whether it’s art, writing, or other works and projects… I’ll make it up to the Secular Alliance, and I’ll get my essays done – but these times when I’m recovering or “wasting time,” they hurt. On one hand, I need to do things – I feel great when I’m doing things and getting things done! On the other, I naturally do nothing on Saturdays, no matter how much I feel I should. (that’s not always true, but it feels like it’s harder to do things).
Three things you should learn
Riot Grrrl will never die
Every girl is a Riot Grrrl
Stop boys violence
When the schoolwork piles up and I feel stressed out about things, like the future of my college life and post-college life, reflecting on the past can help a lot! I like to think about how far things have come since a year ago. One little book, Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home led to an “identity activation” for me… I identified as a feminist before reading it – but reading it changed something in me. I wanted to get involved, I wanted to learn things, to make a difference – and a year later I totally have! I’m in three clubs that are fighting for gender and sexuality equality, and working to create safe environments for people.
It’s like, I’m pushing a stone up a hill right now, and that sucks – but if I look downhill I can see how far I’ve come. I’ve become a much better person, and I shouldn’t get discouraged just because I have a challenging weekend. It’ll be rough tomorrow, and the day after that – as there are essays due Monday and Tuesday… but they’re only two days.
I can work harder than usual for two days.