One way to keep myself on track is to force myself to write about this regularly. I guess one way of looking at it is that I’ve been doing way more exercise than blogging as of late. (Four posts in all of October is not particularly impressive. But maybe I just have fewer things to say nowadays?) Anyways the exercise regiments are going well. I don’t have the exact numbers in front of me, but I know I ruined a streak this morning. I did 20 minutes Monday and Tuesday morning after waking up at 6:45 AM, but this morning I absolutely lacked the will to get out of bed, let alone do exercise. On the whole, I think I’m getting better and better at my little routine. I petal faster and with less effort than I used to, I know what kind of music keeps me at pace, and I’m hitting calories-burnt milestones in less time than I used to.
It’s not like I’m weighing myself, or I’m on a weight loss mission, but feeling like I’m in better shape as a human being makes me feel a lot better. One way I’ve thought about it recently is, I’ve spent 22 years or so improving and making my brain pretty great, so I can spend a little time every day to make sure my body is just as sharp and useful.
Q and the Cell Phone
So, something interesting happened on the bus Monday. Young black male, who I only know as Q, turns to the white man sitting in front of him and asks to borrow his cellphone–says he left his at home, and wants to call his girlfriend to tell her to bring his phone to work. White man says “sorry, my phone’s not on” or something to that effect. “The phone’s for work only so I only turn it on when I get to work.” Q then turns to me and asks for my phone. Q makes a phone call using my phone, and it doesn’t go through so he hands it back. I ask Q if he could text his girlfriend. Q gives me the phone number, I send the text, she responds “Yes” as in, “yes I can bring you your phone” and then I return to listening to my podcast.
And the story could end there, except the original white guy (not me) starts using his phone. To which Q points out “I thought your phone wasn’t on.” “I just don’t let other people use my phone. It’s a policy.” And that’s when I decide that my podcast is less interesting than what’s going on in this bus, so I pause the podcast as eavesdrop on the whole thing. It never gets heated, Q just stands on the fact that the man was judgmental–he never uses the word racist, just judgmental. Even when the white guy exits the bus and it’s just me and Q talking, Q never throws the other guy under the bus for anything other than being judgmental. “He saw me, the way I’m dressed or something, and decided he wouldn’t let me borrow his phone.” It was interesting, I’ll probably say no more except I didn’t do anything special, I did something pretty normal, it just felt extraordinary in contrast to the blatant lies of someone else.
I could probably come up with a venn diagram of things that are making me feel like a better person. 1) Eating different things 2) Having work 3) Exercising 4) Going out and dancing 5) Coffee?
Alright, I don’t know what I’d put for a fifth thing, but when you overlay those things, the center of the diagram is me feeling good about myself. I worked a little bit on my short story, I started a new GlitchFox project, I’ve got new furniture, I’ve got new records to listen to, Grimes has a new album–stuff is going on and I feel good and wow! I can’t say I remember what I shared last, but it was kind of a bummer right?
The thing I’m thinking is; living in an isolated state is really only unbearable when you can’t bear yourself. If you like yourself, if there’s things you can improve about yourself, and you enjoy that type of thing–self help, self improvement, then being isolated isn’t too bad at all really.