Doing Well In The Face of Hard Times
There are a lot of things going my way recently. Losing weight, growing confident in my new beardy look, acquiring new fly shirts… On the surface and beneath the surface, I am doing well. I look well, I feel well; even if I’m fairly sick at the moment. I’m going to write something about this eventually, but it’s a big deal that I’m doing well as Ken 3.0, or Ken 2016, or Ken 23… whatever — because I have and will continue to hang my hat on not being exceedingly masculine, right? My scarves, mannerisms, tastes; I’m naturally non-conformist and I like it that way. So, liking the way I look when I’m a little beardy, a little scruffy, that’s good, because I wasn’t sure I was going to like that look on me.
So, that’s good. It’s great to love yourself. But somewhere in that smiling dead cartoon-eyed portrait I’m really internally bothered by the shooting in Orlando. And the way I’m troubled feels f-ed up because, well, I feel disturbed. You hear anger, you hear “love wins,” you hear “love conquers all” over and over but I’m really deeply pessimistic about this. I’m fixated on the death, the horror of it, in a way. I’m pessimistic that anything will change. That anyone will do anything to fix this problem, least of all American politicians. I worry that we haven’t seen the worst shooting yet. I worry.