What’s Up? (5/1/15)

Graduation Weekend
Finals Week, (4/18)-(4/23), was filled with health issues and long nights of essay writing at Hillman Library. It was not what you would call, stressful, rather the opposite. I had everything under control, my papers were written, I studied for my exam in Roman Civ, my poetry manuscript was complete–really everything school-related was perfect, my health was the only thing that sucked. Breaking out in sweats, fevers, lots and lots of coughing. Now that’s all gone, and all I really remember, is the Graduation Weekend that followed Finals Week.

It was a three day stretch filled with great food, good times, family, and booze. My family, I think, got to experience a really nice selection of Pittsburgh establishments, and different types of neighborhoods. Me and my friends went out on a high note with a massive karaoke party that was totally worth whatever repercussions we were returned–understandably you cannot throw a karaoke party that lasts until 6 AM without consequences. Finally, there were the professors and students who, honestly, I was really surprised by how much some professors remembered me–and how many students were excited to see me at graduation. I really got that perfect graduation experience that way–feeling loved and celebrated, and in it with my family and Pitt family.

Now That That’s Over
I’m at home, spending a lot of time doing nothing. It’s alright, honestly I wish I could let myself enjoy the doing nothing a bit more. It drives me crazy though, basically just having the internet, some video games to keep me occupied. I need to start a new GlitchFox song or a Photoshop project… Or something. Because I’m all antsy waiting to go to England, but also really excited to see some friends here in New York, intensely waiting for Formula One to return, and all the while I just don’t know what to do with myself. I’m not really on vacation–I have to find a job, and a place to live–but it feels like I’m supposed to vacation a little bit right now. It’s all very, weird–it’s enjoyable at times, but also, it stirs up anxiety, not knowing what you’re doing.

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What’s Up? (4/18/15)

Quick Recap
The week of (4/6) to (4/12) was good. The weekend was particularly filled with things I enjoy: like Formula One, Game of Thrones, drinking gin, being productive, getting busy (wink, nod, move on), and having a relaxing outdoor dinner with my significant other.

The week of (4/13) to (4/19) was less good. I felt lots of stress piling on. Graduation, apartment hunting, job hunting, and finals week pushed me to a rock-bottom mindset. The good thing was that I basically bottomed out by Wednesday (4/15) and after that things have been much better.

Now, it’s Sunday (4/19) at 2:40 AM. I’m done writing one of two final papers. I’m back in the swing of things. I’m excited to graduate. I’m excited for the Bahrain Grand Prix in eight hours. I’m excited for Game of Thrones. I’m excited to see my s.o. one last time before the summer break.

I was knocked down for a bit, but I’m coming up. More, in detail, later. For now, we sleep, eased by sweet vodka gimlets, and the knowledge that the most important essay of my college career is now completely written, though in need of edits. It’s good enough that I deserve this little break.

What’s Up? (9/1/14)

I feel like I have a lot of work to do by tonight, and it’s entirely my fault for not reading the books earlier, but this just feels slightly ridiculous. In any case this isn’t going to be a very long post because of the amount of work I feel I should be doing. This post serves as a means of procrastination as well as a record of how I feel at this exact moment. For two hours my iPad has been sitting here right next to me and I just couldn’t bring myself to read my professor’s book. First of all the man expects me to read the whole thing in a week which would be possible if I locked myself in a room for a few hours every day, and if I had no other classes or engagements. The problem professor, is that after hours of classes each day, I’m not ready to just sit and read your book. Sometimes I have to nap, or watch TV, or talk to somebody. I need to unwind. All of your students need to unwind. Your class is not the most important thing to our lives, or even the most important class in our schedule. It’s just another class in the grand scheme of 50+ classes I’ve taken as a student at the University of Pittsburgh and you do not get special treatment. One book a week, you say? I’ll give you this; I’ll skim one book  a week, because I have things to do. I have other books that I need to read for other classes, places to go for other classes, things to research. Food to eat, sleep to be had, love, art, music, alcohol, exercise. Today I’ll read your book, the best I can; but only for so long – because there is other work to be done. I may procrastinate but I work hard, and I believe the essays written in the dark of the morning are going to suffice, and I don’t think for a second that you’re going to be able to tell that I didn’t read your book from beginning to end.

What’s Up? (8/20/14)

Sometimes I look at the things I’ve written down on this blog and think, what the hell was that supposed to mean? I get upset that in the past I choose to be vague instead of just up front about what I meant to say. In as few words as possible: being in Pittsburgh makes me feel like myself again and it separates me from a lot of bad memories and the feeling of being stuck. I’m biking most nights, I’ve remembered how much I love to just throw on deadmau5 and bang out beats in my bedroom, and I’m making drinks on regular no-occasion nights. With being back, there’s a little bit of that old 4AM attitude again. I contemplated just not sleeping last night, since the previous two hours of trying to sleep had been so unsuccessful. When it’s 5AM and you feel wide awake, things go poorly.

My goodness though, life feels so damn tropical. Harry Belafonte’s spinning on the record player, I’m having the Monkey Mocha and Coconut Coffees around campus, I’m sweating bullets in the park while listening to Chico Trujillo, and my hand soap smells like Jamba Juice. I’m outside on the balcony soaking sunlight every day because you just never know, come next week, or the week after that, we can be in 50-degree temperatures, and it’ll be snowing before I know it.

There’s a lot of indecision happening on a regular basis though, in the field of “what the hell do I eat, and should I go to CVS?” For weeks in a row I’ve forgotten the same home essentials, though I’ve remembered to stock up on booze so, what’s with that? I think I’m looking healthier though, and feeling it. Portion control’s working, I’m not ordering extras, and I still afford myself the things I love around town but without less guilt attached, since there’s a lot of exercise happening. I’m still miffed about how some things ended in New York on this whole subject, since I, and I alone make choices about my body. A part of me’s upset for apologizing and coming to some fake resolution to an argument, but whatever gets people to shut up sometimes.

 

What’s Up? (7/21/14)

I just realized I had a finished song that I was sitting on for easily, a month, and hadn’t released. I was going to play it at June’s Pulsewave, but it was a secret location and I opted to hang with the Xanax Cats instead, I think. It’s really good though… I’ll post it this week for certain.

That discovery, and more! There’s a lot of positive brain-storming happening right now. Ideas like, how will I celebrate being back in Pittsburgh? Who will I see first, and when? What outfits can I put together? Can I achieve my vision of complete color coordination? Pants match the t-shirts, which match the scarves, and maybe even the watches. Will I learn to make coffee from grind? Maybe French Press, or my own single-serve machine. Should I pull the trigger on a piece of exercise equipment? A part of me thinks it would be excellent to have a tiny stationary bike in the room. Could get some exercise while I’m going some readings for English or watching Netflix or something.

As my internship goes into its final four days, and my time on Long Island into their final sixteen, it’s only normal for me to be this excited about Pittsburgh again. There are some things I’m still itching to do before that happens though. 1) A drink with the Interns. 2) Another pool & beach session with the Xanax Cats. 3) Drawing my Summer Passport entries. 4) Maybe see Nine Inch Nails a fourth time. 5) Hang out with a Slimeball. 6) Having more Vodka.

What’s Up? (12/4/13)

This is the first proper “What’s Up?” in a pretty long time. So, what’s up? It’s 5AM, the sound of the morning freight trains can be heard very clearly over, what must be the sound of dump trucks from Waste Management coming to empty dumpsters or something. My life is not on fire right now, which is all I could ask for.

I don’t do it often enough, but when under pressure I really, really work well. I fact-checked a thousand words of a classmate’s paper, a process I enjoyed more than I thought I would, since classmates made fact-checking to be nothing short of hellish. In reality, it felt like detective work, finding facts and proofing information on the internet. I followed up on my potential internship positions, made a few phone-calls, and found a dry cleaner to get suits pressed at for interviews. Furthermore, I attended a study session for Psychology 101, and squeezed in a proper re-read of the textbook chapters tonight. All of this, while dealing with the crisis-management that was discovering a bed bug last morning at 3AM, which spread more fear and psychosis around the apartment than I ever could have anticipated.

But my life is not on fire, I’ve started a pleasant conversation with a new girl, I still feel refreshed from being home over the weekend, old passions have been rekindled, and despite the fact that I have three, four hours tops of sleep before classes start at 10AM, I’m going to own those three-to-four hours, wake up, have a New York bagel, and do this all over again tomorrow.