What’s Up? (11/23/15)

Exercise Calendar

Exercise 

The days highlighted in blue show the days where I’ve done at least 40 minutes on the bicycle. Good job, me. Before October 19th I bet the blue spaces were few and far between. Or, further apart from one another. I probably haven’t gone whole weeks without a little bit of exercise for a while. I don’t have much to say on this except, I’m going to keep at it.

Lawrenceville Hipster

On Friday (11/20/15) I was making cocktails for someone, describing work, and my daily routine and whatnot — and she asked if I had become a “L-Ville Hipster” or Lawrenceville Hipster. Well, I didn’t know. I have a coffee place where I’m a regular who orders the same two things without fail. I shopped at H&M so I’d have a few new items to distinguish my look from my Oakland days. But otherwise… Whatever components make up a “hipster” I’m pretty sure I don’t have them. I think I’ve probably changed, grown, or feel significantly different since coming to Lawrenceville regularly but it’s not like I’m adopting a fake style, I’m just using the neighborhood to let myself be more… me?

This cardigan for example. I’ve been wearing it for hours. I love the thing. I love the way it meets at my neck. I love how it looks slim, or feels slim. The extra long sleeves are cool. Something about it inspires a great deal of confidence for me, the same way infinity scarves do. And I only ended up in H&M because of Lawrenceville, working there, and hearing about the H&M in South Side. So, by extension, Lawrenceville helped me find a piece of clothing that makes me feel really good. So am I some fake as hell hipster in Lawrenceville? Nah. I’m a real as fuck member of the neighborhood, and I love it.

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What’s Up? (7/21/14)

I just realized I had a finished song that I was sitting on for easily, a month, and hadn’t released. I was going to play it at June’s Pulsewave, but it was a secret location and I opted to hang with the Xanax Cats instead, I think. It’s really good though… I’ll post it this week for certain.

That discovery, and more! There’s a lot of positive brain-storming happening right now. Ideas like, how will I celebrate being back in Pittsburgh? Who will I see first, and when? What outfits can I put together? Can I achieve my vision of complete color coordination? Pants match the t-shirts, which match the scarves, and maybe even the watches. Will I learn to make coffee from grind? Maybe French Press, or my own single-serve machine. Should I pull the trigger on a piece of exercise equipment? A part of me thinks it would be excellent to have a tiny stationary bike in the room. Could get some exercise while I’m going some readings for English or watching Netflix or something.

As my internship goes into its final four days, and my time on Long Island into their final sixteen, it’s only normal for me to be this excited about Pittsburgh again. There are some things I’m still itching to do before that happens though. 1) A drink with the Interns. 2) Another pool & beach session with the Xanax Cats. 3) Drawing my Summer Passport entries. 4) Maybe see Nine Inch Nails a fourth time. 5) Hang out with a Slimeball. 6) Having more Vodka.

What’s Up? (1/23/14)

Heh, the date is 1-23. I’m doing good. Everything bad that I’ve felt over the last few days; from horrible laundry machine malfunctions, to eating a whole eight serves of pita chips in one day, to loneliness and self-hate, is miraculously gone.  A new art piece in the bedroom (a Plumen 001 light fixture), a seminar about Transexuality in Thailand presented by Aren Z. Aizura, and a shrimp’n’salad dinner – that’s all it took. A new infinity scarf that radiates a rainbow of colors around my person, a class where I can make both intelligent and humorous remarks (generally feeling noticed and very-much not-invisible), and a clever shortcut in an art piece – other sprinkles of delight on the day.

The Plumen 001 is beautiful, a twisted knot of a light-bulb, and needs no lamp or shade – it stands on it’s own. Aren Z. Aizura is brilliant, and his work and presentation about Thailand was incredibly informative. Additionally, when I took a seat in the back of the seminar room, and embarrassingly my backpack fell and made a bunch of loud noise – everybody who turned around to investigate had a friendly face on. And the shrimp and salad? A blend of foods that left me feeling exactly no guilt about eating. The new infinty scarves from Scarf& look fabulous, though I’ve only thrown on this paint-splatter rainbow pattern one, and I think it works well with a white tee. I’m thinking about picking up five-t-shirts from American Apparel; black, white, cyan, magenta, and yellow; a CMYK+W t-shirt collection. Plain tees will go better with this new scarf look I’m going for, as these scarves have a tendency not to go with, or cover up a large portion of the t-shirt design.

I felt comfortable today. No self-hate, body shame, none of that “oh god what did I eat?” stuff. I do want to go to the gym tomorrow, but that’s a choice, not born from some pressure to lose weight. Also, don’t let me forget, I need to call up the folks at the Cider House tomorrow for an interview.

Whats Up? (1/6/14)

There’s an important source of guidance in my life who suggested meditation; which is something I have tried on my own a few times before, but considering that we’re in the swing of the year for resolutions and reinventions, I decided to try meditation by-the-book this time. I tried to eliminate distractions, I lit a candle in my room to look at, and I focused on my breathing. I didn’t get quite there yet, but it felt good, I didn’t regret the time spent, and I didn’t feel frustrated. The source I got these tips from suggested meditating in the morning, which I’ll try to do in the future, and committing to a meditation schedule, which I’ll have to figure out over the course of this semester.

I came up with a few other resolution-ish ideas today, though I get nervous at the thought of calling them resolutions. I feel like resolutions don’t work. They’re non-committal things you only do because it’s January. I need to do things for myself, make changes, and if they happen to occur during January, then so be it.

I’m going to start looking for ways to better express my character through clothing. That may seem like a shallow thing to start with, but hear me out. There was a floral woman’s cardigan on Threadless that I really liked. I’ve never worn a cardigan before, so I was a little apprehensive, but what really killed it for me was that none of the woman’s sizes would fit me. Now, I love the t-shirts I have, don’t get me wrong, but I think in a way I might have been tricking myself into thinking that they were expressing my character. They’re unique sure, some of them odd, some of them not very masculine – but they’re still all just t-shirts. I want something more dainty, floral-print shirts or dress-shirts, infinity scarves; something that says something different than “this guy has an interesting choice in t-shirts.”

The other change I’m trying out today, besides meditation, is salad. Not dieting. Salad. It will be a cold day in hell when the month comes that I don’t eat pizza, or any number of unhealthy but delicious foods. That being said, I’m hoping that I find the delicious side of salads; which I’ve always found boring. It’s 10PM right now, and I first ate, and last ate, at 2PM. I’m freaking starving, and a bag of Dole Spring Salad, a Granny Smith Apple, and a Sunkist Orange are going to have to settle for dinner. I’m hoping that this turns out to be a tasty, and filling combination of fruits and veggies.

And if all of these fail, I can go back to being content with the way I’ve been living life for the last two decades.