Sometimes I look at the things I’ve written down on this blog and think, what the hell was that supposed to mean? I get upset that in the past I choose to be vague instead of just up front about what I meant to say. In as few words as possible: being in Pittsburgh makes me feel like myself again and it separates me from a lot of bad memories and the feeling of being stuck. I’m biking most nights, I’ve remembered how much I love to just throw on deadmau5 and bang out beats in my bedroom, and I’m making drinks on regular no-occasion nights. With being back, there’s a little bit of that old 4AM attitude again. I contemplated just not sleeping last night, since the previous two hours of trying to sleep had been so unsuccessful. When it’s 5AM and you feel wide awake, things go poorly.
My goodness though, life feels so damn tropical. Harry Belafonte’s spinning on the record player, I’m having the Monkey Mocha and Coconut Coffees around campus, I’m sweating bullets in the park while listening to Chico Trujillo, and my hand soap smells like Jamba Juice. I’m outside on the balcony soaking sunlight every day because you just never know, come next week, or the week after that, we can be in 50-degree temperatures, and it’ll be snowing before I know it.
There’s a lot of indecision happening on a regular basis though, in the field of “what the hell do I eat, and should I go to CVS?” For weeks in a row I’ve forgotten the same home essentials, though I’ve remembered to stock up on booze so, what’s with that? I think I’m looking healthier though, and feeling it. Portion control’s working, I’m not ordering extras, and I still afford myself the things I love around town but without less guilt attached, since there’s a lot of exercise happening. I’m still miffed about how some things ended in New York on this whole subject, since I, and I alone make choices about my body. A part of me’s upset for apologizing and coming to some fake resolution to an argument, but whatever gets people to shut up sometimes.
I’m a little hungover right now. It’s Sunday, and there’s really no time to screw around on Sunday – and so I’m awake. I don’t feel great but if I’m going to start a productive day I might as well start by writing something.
I try to avoid being open about drinking on social media sites, you might notice that there are no pictures of me holding any alcoholic beverages or anything on Facebook – though I have taken and shared some pretty artsy photos of Vodka bottles. Some of that “Your employers will see you drinking and not hire you” stuff has definitely gotten to me but man – as soon as I’m 21… well nothing might change because I don’t want to seem like a jack-ass that posts pictures of himself drinking all the time. I was open about drinking in an English writing course here at Pitt, describing in short detail how being drunk makes me feel (great). And so I figure if I’m open about drinking for academic purposes then future employers might understand or even appreciate that sort of honesty. I might have set this up with too much pretense, as the only thing I have to say about drinking today is that I’ve made a very good drink this weekend. The recipe comes from a set of Bioshock Infinite inspired “vigor” mixes and it’s called “Possession.” Three fl.oz of Midori, three fl.oz of Blue Curacao, and the rest is just how much lemonade fits in the glass. It’s tasty, and it’s really too sweet – but I don’t exactly have a problem with “too sweet” when it comes to drinks. In any case, since I’ve been making “Possessions” you could say I’ve gotten a little possessed this weekend, and the terminology has been catching onto my roommates.
I’m comfortably settled into my new apartment. Once I get back into something that resembles a groove here I will start posting regularly again. I start class tomorrow, and I need to be ready for that and all it entails – and there’s a number of food stuffs I will need to get my kitchen into order. The apartment is awesome, but moving all my furniture and belongings up three flights of stairs sucked. My arms are still sore. I’ll put together the final chapter of the first Nuzlog installment this week at least, and you should probably expect another “What’s Up?” this week too – but music reviews will probably be on hiatus again for a while.
Alright, I’m seriously hungry and could totally go for some tuna fish sandwiches so… to IGA I go.