What’s Up? (2/8/14)

I bought myself a Korg Microkorg with Christmas money a few weeks ago, and its been one of the more fun things to do since I got it. I haven’t touched any videogames (beside the occasional minute or two of Pinball Arcade) since, and on most nights I think I’d rather be sitting in my room playing with my synth than drinking at a party. I’ve been figuring out how to play along to Bjork on it, figuring out the notes to her vocals, and the parts behind her voice. I sit on my bed with the synth on my lap and just go to town on the keyboard, guessing and listening, and getting up to restart songs on the laptop. I’ve been getting crazy static shocks every time I go from playing keyboards on the bed, to messing with Spotify, the second I touch the laptop – zap! 

Speaking of Bjork, I listened to her album Vespertine (2001) in its entirety on Wednesday night I believe – as I was working on a pixel portrait of MNDR. Vespertine was awesome, I absolutely loved it, and it motivated me to finish that portrait I had spent months working on. I didn’t want to stop listening to Bjork, and I didn’t want to leave MNDR unfinished. 

By Thursday afternoon, MNDR had seen and liked my portrait (and said it was relevant to something she was about to release, woo!). It’s kind of crazy how my work is being seen by more and more people now, it is making me feel like my art is less of a hobby and something more serious. A member of A Tribe Called Quest saw my art two weeks ago, MNDR saw it three days ago; who knows where my work can go from there, you know? It’s encouraging to think about my potential, there’s a talent and passion here, and it’s vessel is in positive spirits. 

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On Recovering From Bad Days

Things were going well today, I slept amazing after only getting three hours of sleep the previous night. I had a tasty, if not rushed breakfast. I had a delicious second breakfast a few hours later. Media and consumer culture was interesting as ever, and Dr. Paterson’s charming British accent and soft voice could lift the dreariest spirits. However, during Small Group Communications I kind of lost “it.” This of no fault of Mr. Dutcher, but during the class my mind was flooded with all sorts of fears, regrets, paranoia, thoughts of loneliness and of sexual desires. These were by no means day-dreams I allowed myself but rather a constant storm of thoughts that I tried and failed to brush off. The class ended and I raced to get home and relax. On the way I filled up my water thermos and proceeded to drop it and spill the entire contents all over Posvar Hall. I saw people staring at me. I picked up the now empty thermos and just walked out of there as fast as possible, embarrassed and angry. On the way home I abandoned my usual confidence with crossing the street in front of cars and instead waited for all the cars to get out of the way first, and I cursed my awkwardness. All of this, while in sweltering near 90’s heat and self conscious about my sweaty appearance.

When I got home I didn’t lay down and let myself think about how bad the day was, and try to sleep it off. I did things. I watched dumb Vines, I watched dog videos that made me laugh, I played a little guitar. I went shopping for ingredients, I made a spinach alfredo pizza. On recovering from bad days: have faith in doing things, and keep doing things until things get better.